2005-11-23
Anaheim enforcer Todd Fedoruk has joined Sean "The NHL Is Out To Get Me" Avery on the front lines of the anti-visor battalion of morons. After Coyote Denis Gauthier doled out two high hits to Ducks Joffrey Lupul and Todd Marchant in a game Tuesday night, Fedoruk landed a cheap one of his own on Petr Nedved. Fedoruk even told the media afterwards that it was retaliatory (see his new comprehensive guide, "How To Get Suspended," soon to appear in bookstores everywhere), and followed up by stating that Gauthier is "out there with a visor on running around like he's King Kong. He's not going to back it up."
It's questionable whether guys like Fedoruk and Avery are against visors because they prefer the "good old days" of less protection, because they're insecure in their masculinity and have to point out that, as manly men, they don't need to protect themselves, or because they're actually just morons. It should certainly be noted however, by players and fans alike, that the guys making these comments are not quality players by any stretch of the imagination - essentially, they're big mouths with fists attached.
Meanwhile, more and more players around the league have experimented with visors; some like the change, some don't, but they've stopped listening to the NHL's Foundation for Finding Work For Ocular Surgeons and tried their luck. Tie Domi, in particular, attempted playing with a visor for a couple games in the 2003-04 season at the behest of his children - he even fought in one game, removing his helmet beforehand - and although he found the adjustment too difficult, the point that Avery and Fedoruk's posse should notice is that he tried it, and his testicles didn't fall off.
Let's try to list, though, just a few of the players who are incapable of "backing things up":
-Jarome Iginla
-Dany Heatley
-Dion Phaneuf
-Mike Richards
-Rick Nash
-Owen Nolan
Get the idea?
Toss in some more of the less-physical, but squeaky-clean elite players in the NHL who wear visors - Joe Sakic, Mats Sundin, and Steve Yzerman come to mind - and it becomes even more clear that those anti-visor airheads are very wrong to paint everyone with the same brush.
Maybe the issue of making visors mandatory isn't just about protection anymore; it would certainly solve this problem quickly...or else they'd just have to find a new way to decide who's a wimp or not.
"Hey! His jersey's tucked in on the right side! What a sissy!"
2005-11-10
Canadian Blog Awards
Also don't be shy in voting for Justin's Flash Point Canada, in the Best Political-Left Blog category. Read a few of his posts, and you'll see that it's quite deserving of the title.
Enjoy.
Granted, he wears clever disguises...always has a different jersey on, sometimes with a sign, sometimes with a cellphone ("Dude! Is your TV on? See the jackass waving at the camera? That's me!!!"), sometimes dressed as a group of drunken frat boys. But regardless of what he looks like, I don't think I've ever seen this moron and actually chuckled at his antics. Never even cracked a smile. I just feel genuine sympathy for the people in the second row, who don't know whether to yell "down in front" or dump their drinks on his head.
So buddy, if you're reading this right now: stop it. Nobody's impressed.
...And stop slapping the glass to get the players' attention, while you're at it. We get pissed when you do that at the aquarium, too.
2005-10-18
Now, the qualifier for comprehending the suspension - namely, having a good head on one's shoulders - would appear to include many in the Senators' organization, namely captain Daniel Alfredsson and GM John Muckler, both of whom indicated that they agreed with the league's decision to suspend Havlat, and that five games was an appropriate length. Head coach Bryan Murray, however, seems to be having trouble with it: "I thought he might get maybe as much as three games. Hal Gill, to me, got off scot-free; I have no problem with a suspension of some sort, but to me, you couldn't have taken it more than (Havlat) did, and that's a really extreme penalty."
The "it" that Havlat apparently couldn't have taken more of was presumably the hit from Gill that landed him on the back of the net in the first place, which spurred the kick. Gill, understandably upset, then roughed Havlat up with two hard shoves before Chris Neil came in to fight him; it was certainly nothing grievous, and nothing that Havlat didn't immediately deserve. For the NHL to have shortened the suspension due to the fact that Gill retaliated - albeit in a much more acceptable manner - would be ridiculous; it does not change the fact that Havlat has a habit of kicking players in the groin when he has blades attached to his feet. For his own sake, Havlat had better learn his lesson from this suspension; he is quickly elongating a résumé of cowardly cheap shots that is going to make him a target in the NHL if he isn't careful.
2005-10-14
"Hi, I'm Sean Avery, and I still haven't shut my trap."
I'm not going to suggest that Avery should be reprimanded when there is absolutely nothing incriminating against him save Laraque's word - and Laraque is no angel himself - but is it really that difficult to believe that Avery, who is infamous by this point for the ridiculous stupid bile that he spews, would make such a comment? Of course not. The Oiler winger has stated that he will not pursue any on-ice vengeance (smart of him, given the whole Bertuzzi-Moore incident), and a shouting match between the two teams in the Staples Center parking garage amounted to nothing. But I'm sure that there would be a few smiling faces around the NHL if Laraque managed to catch Avery traversing the neutral zone with his head down sometime soon...nothing says "shut your face" like a big, clean check. Delicious.
The Shootout Post
By now, many of you have seen at least one NHL shootout, even though the season's still young. I actually had the dubious privilege of seeing one in person, at the Senators' 6-5 defeat of the Leafs on October 10. Was it exciting? Maybe. Nerve-wracking? Absolutely. A vulgar gimmick introduced to titillate people who previously didn't care about hockey in the least? You bet your ass.
I'm not sure how ties became such a faux pas; many people seem to detest the lack of resolution. If a draw is so horrible, why not just keep overtime going? Leave the extra point for an overtime loss, because no one wants to watch 4 extra periods of pure defence in the regular season, but just keep the periods coming until somebody scores. No one ever decided a baseball game on a home run derby, did they? What about a basketball game on a dunk competition?
The other obvious upside about keeping overtime rolling is that it's still a team sport. Fans still get to see huge hits, great playmaking, stunning defensive plays (and breakdowns), and it's all in search of just one massive goal. Instead, look at the kinds of players who would likely be excluded in a shootout (unless, of course, it were to go several rounds without a resolution); say goodbye to power forwards and hulking defencemen. So long, Brendan Shanahan and Keith Primeau. See ya, Scott Stevens and Dion Phaneuf. If you can't dangle the puck on a string, the coach likely isn't going to look at you; a 100 mph slapshot loses a lot of its worth if the goalie can square to the shooter without worrying about a pass.
Shootouts have received a fair bit of interest so far; it's probably just as well, since they're here to stay anyway. In a poll commissioned by the NHL Fans' Association, 60% of random respondents approved of the switch, compared to 54% of those who consider themselves "hardcore fans." Obviously, with both of those numbers being above the halfway point, the league isn't about to repeal the rule, but it should be noted that NHL brass was expecting a much higher approval rating, particularly in the random respondents' category. It also bears mentioning that this polling data comes 5 games into the new season; 41 games in, let's see how fans feel. That would give them a reasonable amount of time to become acclimatized to the new rules, and would eliminate any responses that were positive just for curiosity's sake (it's easy to imagine that many people who answered the poll confused the notions of "approval" and "intrigue.")
At any rate, no amount of bellyaching on my part is going to convince Gary Bettman and the NHL Competition Committee to give shootouts the boot, so I suppose I'd better get used to them.
But you still can't make me like them.
2005-09-27
Unless you've been paying attention to the NHL preseason where the Los Angeles Kings are concerned - allow yourself a chuckle at the prospect - you might not have heard that the other night, Jeremy Roenick was concussed for the 11th time in his career by a hit from Coyotes' defenceman Denis Gauthier. By all accounts, it was a clean hit, and a hard one. But according to JR, it was unwarranted, indicated that "there is no respect for people in this league."
What?
Roenick isn't a small player, and isn't a player who's shied away from physical contact in the past; Gauthier wasn't hitting a Wayne Gretzky or a Paul Kariya. He's a defenceman entering his prime, playing with a new team - coached by Gretzky himself, no less - and is trying to make an impact, and one of the best ways to do that is throw the body cleanly. If Roenick thinks that veteran status is enough to make him untouchable by someone younger than himself, he should think again...maybe all those concussions have scrambled his brain.
But wait, it gets better.
Sean Avery, another Kings forward famous for running his mouth, told a TSN reporter today that the hit "was typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not back anything up." Good thing there are no French-Canadian players who wear visors on Avery's own team who might be offended by his comments. What? Luc who? "Robitaille?" Never heard of him. (And no, saying "most French guys" instead of "all French guys" doesn't absolve him of being both a bigot and a moron; sorry to close that loophole.)
Avery continued, "I'd think if a guy like Brett Hull was coming up the middle, somebody probably wouldn't have stepped up and hit him, but like I said, a typical move from a guy wearing a visor that certainly doesn't like to get scratched at all." Does anyone remember Scott Stevens positively ruining Paul Kariya with a massive hit in the 2003 playoffs? Being a superstar doesn't make you untouchable.
On the other hand, let's look at Sean Avery's scouting report, shall we? TSN.ca has his career potential listed as a "fourth line agitator." He has played 163 NHL games, totalling 47 points including 17 goals, and 482 penalty minutes...and I'm willing to bet that all those PIMs aren't for Delay Of Game. He's also still young - 25 years old - and there are two reasons to take note of that: 1) we're probably going to have to listen to this crap for another ten years or so, and 2) he's more than likely done his share of roughing up veterans himself, being that the vast majority of NHLers are older than he is. But for Denis Gauthier, if you're reading this, there's an upside: he's three years younger than you are. You've got his permission to let him have it. And apparently not playing dirty means you don't "like to get scratched at all," so throw a couple elbows while you're at it...for Québec. And for this Robitaille fellow.
2005-09-20
"Names don't score goals. Just because somebody gets paid a lot of money, that doesn't make them really great. Has everybody lost their hockey mind? Some of the GMs have a short attention span."--Carolina owner Peter Karmonos (on the offseason spending frenzy)
Yeah, you read that right. Now, I'm not going to argue with Mr. Karmonos' implication that a lot of players are overpaid, but let's look at that statement. "Just because somebody gets paid a lot of money, that doesn't make someone really great." Well, no, but a lot of players who are really great end up earning the big bucks. After the few teams who overspent on players they could suddenly afford this summer realize what a mistake they've made and how little cap room they have left, the days of insanely overpriced mediocre hockey players will be just about at an end. Perhaps if Peter Karmonos stopped to think "Hey, this guy can really score, so let's tailor his salary accordingly," they'd end up with some quality skaters. Past Erik Cole and Eric Staal, the 'Canes have a huge drop-off on their depth chart, with Rod Brind'Amour, Ray Whitney, and Cory Stillman - basically utility men, at this stage of their careers - expected to pick up the slack. Same story on defence, where the signing of Oleg Tverdovsky shored things up a little, but not much...and don't even look at their goaltending situation. It hurts.
In short, Mr. Karmonos might want to stop being jealous that the other teams signed players before he did, get out his wallet, and start throwing some money. Does anyone wonder why not even Carolina likes the Carolina Hurricanes?
Meanwhile, on Long Island...
Alexei Yashin has been named the Isles' captain. According to GM Mike Milbury, "At that kind of money ($7.6M per season), he's got to be the go-to guy." Now, there aren't a lot of players on the Islanders who I would give a C to, but Yashin certainly isn't one, either. They're really lacking quality leadership at this point, and Alexei Yashin isn't going to supply any - just look at what a jerk he was in Ottawa. Held out on the team, donated a million dollars to the local arts, then took it back...and was a dressing room cancer. Now, New York is in a tight spot here, because with the loss of Mike Peca and Adrian Aucoin - both born leaders - they have virtually no other holdovers who are anywhere near ready for that big letter on the jersey. Janne Niinimaa would be a better candidate, but he's also been threatening to go to Europe and stay there, so he's a liability. All in all, Yashin was the best of a bad choice, and it will be interesting to see how that affects things in an already-tense situation on the Island.
2005-09-18
Hi, I'm Brian Boucher, and I hate shootouts.
It is the same reason that GMs have always been anxious when their players participate in things like the Olympics and the World Championships - to an NHL executive, those are extracurricular activities where one's players are risking injury. Wayne Gretzky, the 'Yotes newly-crowned head coach, has taken Boucher's fairly well, possibly because he couldn't find words to describe the ridiculous situation: "I don't even know what to say. I've never seen anything like that...to take an injury in that kind of scenario is just not good."
Phoenix's off-season signing of Curtis Joseph likely was a huge factor in Gretzky not tearing his hair out and marching off to New York to strangle Gary Bettman for the stupid rule that has put Boucher out for at least two weeks. But many people, such as Ed Belfour, who felt that the NHL was ignoring players' safety in shrinking goalie equipment in favour of drawing the interest of potential fans in the sun belt, will see this as just another affront. And in this case, it's hard to disagree.
2005-09-10
What's John Ferguson Jr. doing in Toronto? Signing bargain-basement washups. Ugh.
In the last two days, the Leafs have landed 33-year-old forward Mariusz Czerkawski and a former Minnesota captain (albeit for just a 2-month period), defenceman Brad Brown. Pat Quinn is even toying with the idea of putting Czerkawski on Mats Sundin's right wing, and TSN.ca lists Brown as 6th on the defensive depth chart. Mike Keane and Bryan Marchment have been invited to training camp, and Steve Thomas is practically begging to play for the Leafs, claiming he'll accept the league minimum salary or a two-way contract.
But what about the youngsters that have a legitimate chance at cracking the lineup this year? Carlo Colaiacovo and Staffan Kronwall could both have a solid rookie year on the blueline, with Ian White probably just one more AHL season away. Alex Steen and Kyle Wellwood could fit in at forward as well. Those two will have a better chance at cracking the lineup than the young defencemen, considering that they're vying for two open spots, with the contenders being Wade Belak, Chad Kilger, Clarke Wilm, and Nathan Perrott. Belak and Perrott are somewhat redundant when you consider that Tie Domi will be a regular, and there are other players in the lineup capable of being very nasty, such as Darcy Tucker, Jeff O'Neill, and Eric Lindros. On defence, however, the presence of Brad Brown blows my mind. He could simply be there to provide a little bit of experience for Colaiacovo and Kronwall, or even as a spare part like other forgettable acquisitions in the past, such as Greg Andrusak. When you consider that Marchment could very well return, or Belak may be moved to defence, it likely adds up to another disappointing year for Carlo Colaiacovo, who has more than paid his dues on the farm, and is being held hostage by Pat Quinn's apparent disdain for rookies.
With the losses of Joe Nieuwendyk, Gary Roberts, and Brian Leetch, the average age of the Maple Leafs plummeted dramatically, and was virtually unaffected by the other additions of this off-season. The rookies that have a chance to make the lineup, and therefore further help Toronto shake its reputation as the NHL's retirement destination, have been pushed aside, however, to make room for more experienced players. There could be tough breaks ahead for all those youngsters...but then, if they step up in training camp, the Leafs could once again experience a youth movement, the likes of which haven't been seen in close to ten years.
