Ever heard someone deny that there's a stigma in the NHL about visors being the signature of sissies? If so, did you swallow that line, or recognize it for the bunk that is?

Anaheim enforcer Todd Fedoruk has joined Sean "The NHL Is Out To Get Me" Avery on the front lines of the anti-visor battalion of morons. After Coyote Denis Gauthier doled out two high hits to Ducks Joffrey Lupul and Todd Marchant in a game Tuesday night, Fedoruk landed a cheap one of his own on Petr Nedved. Fedoruk even told the media afterwards that it was retaliatory (see his new comprehensive guide, "How To Get Suspended," soon to appear in bookstores everywhere), and followed up by stating that Gauthier is "out there with a visor on running around like he's King Kong. He's not going to back it up."

It's questionable whether guys like Fedoruk and Avery are against visors because they prefer the "good old days" of less protection, because they're insecure in their masculinity and have to point out that, as manly men, they don't need to protect themselves, or because they're actually just morons. It should certainly be noted however, by players and fans alike, that the guys making these comments are not quality players by any stretch of the imagination - essentially, they're big mouths with fists attached.

Meanwhile, more and more players around the league have experimented with visors; some like the change, some don't, but they've stopped listening to the NHL's Foundation for Finding Work For Ocular Surgeons and tried their luck. Tie Domi, in particular, attempted playing with a visor for a couple games in the 2003-04 season at the behest of his children - he even fought in one game, removing his helmet beforehand - and although he found the adjustment too difficult, the point that Avery and Fedoruk's posse should notice is that he tried it, and his testicles didn't fall off.

Let's try to list, though, just a few of the players who are incapable of "backing things up":

-Jarome Iginla
-Dany Heatley
-Dion Phaneuf
-Mike Richards
-Rick Nash
-Owen Nolan

Get the idea?

Toss in some more of the less-physical, but squeaky-clean elite players in the NHL who wear visors - Joe Sakic, Mats Sundin, and Steve Yzerman come to mind - and it becomes even more clear that those anti-visor airheads are very wrong to paint everyone with the same brush.

Maybe the issue of making visors mandatory isn't just about protection anymore; it would certainly solve this problem quickly...or else they'd just have to find a new way to decide who's a wimp or not.

"Hey! His jersey's tucked in on the right side! What a sissy!"

Canadian Blog Awards

As it appears that The Good Old Hockey Game has been nominated for the Canadian Blog Awards, it's time for some shameless self-promotion. If you like what you see, then by all means, cast me a vote! If you're new here, then check out a few posts, and I'll just cross my fingers and hope that you pick the good ones.

Also don't be shy in voting for Justin's Flash Point Canada, in the Best Political-Left Blog category. Read a few of his posts, and you'll see that it's quite deserving of the title.

Enjoy.

Who is that guy who sits in the front row behind the glass at hockey games and stands up, facing the camera, when the puck gets near enough? And how does he get tickets to every single game?

Granted, he wears clever disguises...always has a different jersey on, sometimes with a sign, sometimes with a cellphone ("Dude! Is your TV on? See the jackass waving at the camera? That's me!!!"), sometimes dressed as a group of drunken frat boys. But regardless of what he looks like, I don't think I've ever seen this moron and actually chuckled at his antics. Never even cracked a smile. I just feel genuine sympathy for the people in the second row, who don't know whether to yell "down in front" or dump their drinks on his head.

So buddy, if you're reading this right now: stop it. Nobody's impressed.


...And stop slapping the glass to get the players' attention, while you're at it. We get pissed when you do that at the aquarium, too.

Martin Havlat has been suspended by the NHL for kicking Boston defenceman Hal Gill in the groin during a game last Saturday night. Anyone with a good head on their shoulders can understand why he's been punished, and why five games was necessary. In the 2003-04 season, he also kicked Eric Cairns (then of the Islanders) in the crotch - with the blade of his skate, no less - and he delivered a vicious cross-check to the face of Mark Recchi in a game against the Flyers. Simply put, Havlat is quite the cheap-shot artist, and NHL disciplinarian and director of hockey operations Colin Campbell has recognized this and acted accordingly.

Now, the qualifier for comprehending the suspension - namely, having a good head on one's shoulders - would appear to include many in the Senators' organization, namely captain Daniel Alfredsson and GM John Muckler, both of whom indicated that they agreed with the league's decision to suspend Havlat, and that five games was an appropriate length. Head coach Bryan Murray, however, seems to be having trouble with it: "I thought he might get maybe as much as three games. Hal Gill, to me, got off scot-free; I have no problem with a suspension of some sort, but to me, you couldn't have taken it more than (Havlat) did, and that's a really extreme penalty."

The "it" that Havlat apparently couldn't have taken more of was presumably the hit from Gill that landed him on the back of the net in the first place, which spurred the kick. Gill, understandably upset, then roughed Havlat up with two hard shoves before Chris Neil came in to fight him; it was certainly nothing grievous, and nothing that Havlat didn't immediately deserve. For the NHL to have shortened the suspension due to the fact that Gill retaliated - albeit in a much more acceptable manner - would be ridiculous; it does not change the fact that Havlat has a habit of kicking players in the groin when he has blades attached to his feet. For his own sake, Havlat had better learn his lesson from this suspension; he is quickly elongating a résumé of cowardly cheap shots that is going to make him a target in the NHL if he isn't careful.

"Hi, I'm Sean Avery, and I still haven't shut my trap."

Edmonton Oilers forward Georges Laraque has alleged that Kings forward Sean Avery (remember him? 05-09-27; 05-02-12) called him a "monkey" during a scrum in an Edmonton-Los Angeles game last week. Laraque, who is black, said afterwards, "I knew the league wouldn't be able to do anything because there were no witnesses, but you want to tell them in case it ever happens in the future. I'm not deaf. I heard it or I wouldn't have (reported it). This is pretty serious stuff, something you don't play around with." Avery has denied that he said anything, and other Kings players claim that they heard no such comment; the NHL, with a lack of evidence, will take no action.

I'm not going to suggest that Avery should be reprimanded when there is absolutely nothing incriminating against him save Laraque's word - and Laraque is no angel himself - but is it really that difficult to believe that Avery, who is infamous by this point for the ridiculous stupid bile that he spews, would make such a comment? Of course not. The Oiler winger has stated that he will not pursue any on-ice vengeance (smart of him, given the whole Bertuzzi-Moore incident), and a shouting match between the two teams in the Staples Center parking garage amounted to nothing. But I'm sure that there would be a few smiling faces around the NHL if Laraque managed to catch Avery traversing the neutral zone with his head down sometime soon...nothing says "shut your face" like a big, clean check. Delicious.

The Shootout Post

I've been putting this one off for as long as possible, but it's finally time.

By now, many of you have seen at least one NHL shootout, even though the season's still young. I actually had the dubious privilege of seeing one in person, at the Senators' 6-5 defeat of the Leafs on October 10. Was it exciting? Maybe. Nerve-wracking? Absolutely. A vulgar gimmick introduced to titillate people who previously didn't care about hockey in the least? You bet your ass.

I'm not sure how ties became such a faux pas; many people seem to detest the lack of resolution. If a draw is so horrible, why not just keep overtime going? Leave the extra point for an overtime loss, because no one wants to watch 4 extra periods of pure defence in the regular season, but just keep the periods coming until somebody scores. No one ever decided a baseball game on a home run derby, did they? What about a basketball game on a dunk competition?

The other obvious upside about keeping overtime rolling is that it's still a team sport. Fans still get to see huge hits, great playmaking, stunning defensive plays (and breakdowns), and it's all in search of just one massive goal. Instead, look at the kinds of players who would likely be excluded in a shootout (unless, of course, it were to go several rounds without a resolution); say goodbye to power forwards and hulking defencemen. So long, Brendan Shanahan and Keith Primeau. See ya, Scott Stevens and Dion Phaneuf. If you can't dangle the puck on a string, the coach likely isn't going to look at you; a 100 mph slapshot loses a lot of its worth if the goalie can square to the shooter without worrying about a pass.

Shootouts have received a fair bit of interest so far; it's probably just as well, since they're here to stay anyway. In a poll commissioned by the NHL Fans' Association, 60% of random respondents approved of the switch, compared to 54% of those who consider themselves "hardcore fans." Obviously, with both of those numbers being above the halfway point, the league isn't about to repeal the rule, but it should be noted that NHL brass was expecting a much higher approval rating, particularly in the random respondents' category. It also bears mentioning that this polling data comes 5 games into the new season; 41 games in, let's see how fans feel. That would give them a reasonable amount of time to become acclimatized to the new rules, and would eliminate any responses that were positive just for curiosity's sake (it's easy to imagine that many people who answered the poll confused the notions of "approval" and "intrigue.")

At any rate, no amount of bellyaching on my part is going to convince Gary Bettman and the NHL Competition Committee to give shootouts the boot, so I suppose I'd better get used to them.

But you still can't make me like them.

Some guys make this gig so easy.

Unless you've been paying attention to the NHL preseason where the Los Angeles Kings are concerned - allow yourself a chuckle at the prospect - you might not have heard that the other night, Jeremy Roenick was concussed for the 11th time in his career by a hit from Coyotes' defenceman Denis Gauthier. By all accounts, it was a clean hit, and a hard one. But according to JR, it was unwarranted, indicated that "there is no respect for people in this league."

What?

Roenick isn't a small player, and isn't a player who's shied away from physical contact in the past; Gauthier wasn't hitting a Wayne Gretzky or a Paul Kariya. He's a defenceman entering his prime, playing with a new team - coached by Gretzky himself, no less - and is trying to make an impact, and one of the best ways to do that is throw the body cleanly. If Roenick thinks that veteran status is enough to make him untouchable by someone younger than himself, he should think again...maybe all those concussions have scrambled his brain.

But wait, it gets better.

Sean Avery, another Kings forward famous for running his mouth, told a TSN reporter today that the hit "was typical of most French guys in our league with a visor on, running around and playing tough and not back anything up." Good thing there are no French-Canadian players who wear visors on Avery's own team who might be offended by his comments. What? Luc who? "Robitaille?" Never heard of him. (And no, saying "most French guys" instead of "all French guys" doesn't absolve him of being both a bigot and a moron; sorry to close that loophole.)

Avery continued, "I'd think if a guy like Brett Hull was coming up the middle, somebody probably wouldn't have stepped up and hit him, but like I said, a typical move from a guy wearing a visor that certainly doesn't like to get scratched at all." Does anyone remember Scott Stevens positively ruining Paul Kariya with a massive hit in the 2003 playoffs? Being a superstar doesn't make you untouchable.

On the other hand, let's look at Sean Avery's scouting report, shall we? TSN.ca has his career potential listed as a "fourth line agitator." He has played 163 NHL games, totalling 47 points including 17 goals, and 482 penalty minutes...and I'm willing to bet that all those PIMs aren't for Delay Of Game. He's also still young - 25 years old - and there are two reasons to take note of that: 1) we're probably going to have to listen to this crap for another ten years or so, and 2) he's more than likely done his share of roughing up veterans himself, being that the vast majority of NHLers are older than he is. But for Denis Gauthier, if you're reading this, there's an upside: he's three years younger than you are. You've got his permission to let him have it. And apparently not playing dirty means you don't "like to get scratched at all," so throw a couple elbows while you're at it...for Québec. And for this Robitaille fellow.

"Names don't score goals. Just because somebody gets paid a lot of money, that doesn't make them really great. Has everybody lost their hockey mind? Some of the GMs have a short attention span."--Carolina owner Peter Karmonos (on the offseason spending frenzy)

Yeah, you read that right. Now, I'm not going to argue with Mr. Karmonos' implication that a lot of players are overpaid, but let's look at that statement. "Just because somebody gets paid a lot of money, that doesn't make someone really great." Well, no, but a lot of players who are really great end up earning the big bucks. After the few teams who overspent on players they could suddenly afford this summer realize what a mistake they've made and how little cap room they have left, the days of insanely overpriced mediocre hockey players will be just about at an end. Perhaps if Peter Karmonos stopped to think "Hey, this guy can really score, so let's tailor his salary accordingly," they'd end up with some quality skaters. Past Erik Cole and Eric Staal, the 'Canes have a huge drop-off on their depth chart, with Rod Brind'Amour, Ray Whitney, and Cory Stillman - basically utility men, at this stage of their careers - expected to pick up the slack. Same story on defence, where the signing of Oleg Tverdovsky shored things up a little, but not much...and don't even look at their goaltending situation. It hurts.

In short, Mr. Karmonos might want to stop being jealous that the other teams signed players before he did, get out his wallet, and start throwing some money. Does anyone wonder why not even Carolina likes the Carolina Hurricanes?

Meanwhile, on Long Island...

Alexei Yashin has been named the Isles' captain. According to GM Mike Milbury, "At that kind of money ($7.6M per season), he's got to be the go-to guy." Now, there aren't a lot of players on the Islanders who I would give a C to, but Yashin certainly isn't one, either. They're really lacking quality leadership at this point, and Alexei Yashin isn't going to supply any - just look at what a jerk he was in Ottawa. Held out on the team, donated a million dollars to the local arts, then took it back...and was a dressing room cancer. Now, New York is in a tight spot here, because with the loss of Mike Peca and Adrian Aucoin - both born leaders - they have virtually no other holdovers who are anywhere near ready for that big letter on the jersey. Janne Niinimaa would be a better candidate, but he's also been threatening to go to Europe and stay there, so he's a liability. All in all, Yashin was the best of a bad choice, and it will be interesting to see how that affects things in an already-tense situation on the Island.

Hi, I'm Brian Boucher, and I hate shootouts.

For the exhibition season, which began two days ago, the NHL has elected to feature a shootout after each and every game, just to show the fans what's in store. In some games, that has been extremely unnecessary, such as the Wild's 7-0 win over the Coyotes last night. However, the score of that game might not have been so outlandish if it hadn't been for the shootout played between those two teams the night before, where goalie Brian Boucher, a contestant for the starter's job, injured his groin.

It is the same reason that GMs have always been anxious when their players participate in things like the Olympics and the World Championships - to an NHL executive, those are extracurricular activities where one's players are risking injury. Wayne Gretzky, the 'Yotes newly-crowned head coach, has taken Boucher's fairly well, possibly because he couldn't find words to describe the ridiculous situation: "I don't even know what to say. I've never seen anything like that...to take an injury in that kind of scenario is just not good."

Phoenix's off-season signing of Curtis Joseph likely was a huge factor in Gretzky not tearing his hair out and marching off to New York to strangle Gary Bettman for the stupid rule that has put Boucher out for at least two weeks. But many people, such as Ed Belfour, who felt that the NHL was ignoring players' safety in shrinking goalie equipment in favour of drawing the interest of potential fans in the sun belt, will see this as just another affront. And in this case, it's hard to disagree.

Now that training camps are ready to start, it's time for the NHL's teams to round out their rosters. Many are doing this by welcoming their young stars-to-be into the fold - think Dion Phaneuf in Calgary, or Jeff Carter and Mike Richards in Philadelphia.

What's John Ferguson Jr. doing in Toronto? Signing bargain-basement washups. Ugh.

In the last two days, the Leafs have landed 33-year-old forward Mariusz Czerkawski and a former Minnesota captain (albeit for just a 2-month period), defenceman Brad Brown. Pat Quinn is even toying with the idea of putting Czerkawski on Mats Sundin's right wing, and TSN.ca lists Brown as 6th on the defensive depth chart. Mike Keane and Bryan Marchment have been invited to training camp, and Steve Thomas is practically begging to play for the Leafs, claiming he'll accept the league minimum salary or a two-way contract.

But what about the youngsters that have a legitimate chance at cracking the lineup this year? Carlo Colaiacovo and Staffan Kronwall could both have a solid rookie year on the blueline, with Ian White probably just one more AHL season away. Alex Steen and Kyle Wellwood could fit in at forward as well. Those two will have a better chance at cracking the lineup than the young defencemen, considering that they're vying for two open spots, with the contenders being Wade Belak, Chad Kilger, Clarke Wilm, and Nathan Perrott. Belak and Perrott are somewhat redundant when you consider that Tie Domi will be a regular, and there are other players in the lineup capable of being very nasty, such as Darcy Tucker, Jeff O'Neill, and Eric Lindros. On defence, however, the presence of Brad Brown blows my mind. He could simply be there to provide a little bit of experience for Colaiacovo and Kronwall, or even as a spare part like other forgettable acquisitions in the past, such as Greg Andrusak. When you consider that Marchment could very well return, or Belak may be moved to defence, it likely adds up to another disappointing year for Carlo Colaiacovo, who has more than paid his dues on the farm, and is being held hostage by Pat Quinn's apparent disdain for rookies.

With the losses of Joe Nieuwendyk, Gary Roberts, and Brian Leetch, the average age of the Maple Leafs plummeted dramatically, and was virtually unaffected by the other additions of this off-season. The rookies that have a chance to make the lineup, and therefore further help Toronto shake its reputation as the NHL's retirement destination, have been pushed aside, however, to make room for more experienced players. There could be tough breaks ahead for all those youngsters...but then, if they step up in training camp, the Leafs could once again experience a youth movement, the likes of which haven't been seen in close to ten years.

In just a month, the NHL will resume play. And in not too long, I'll resume blogging. It's been a long summer, and unless I posted several times a day, there's no way I could have ever covered all the crazy deals that went down; the face of the league has changed in a big way. Here are the most major of those acquisitions for all 30 teams, and only the most major - to list them all would take an enormous amount of space. (I'm not touching the signing of draft picks; let's assume that they've been with the team all along...most notably, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin.) See you in a couple weeks.

MIGHTY DUCKS OF ANAHEIM
-D Scott Niedermayer
-F Teemu Selanne

ATLANTA THRASHERS
-F Bobby Holik
-F Marian Hossa

BOSTON BRUINS
-D Brian Leetch
-F Alexei Zhamnov

BUFFALO SABRES
-D Teppo Numminen

CALGARY FLAMES
-F Tony Amonte
-D Roman Hamrlik

CAROLINA HURRICANES
-D Oleg Tverdovsky

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS
-D Adrian Aucoin
-G Nikolai Khabibulin

COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS
-D Bryan Berard
-D Adam Foote

DETROIT RED WINGS
-G Chris Osgood

EDMONTON OILERS
-F Mike Peca
-D Chris Pronger

FLORIDA PANTHERS
-F Joe Nieuwendyk
-F Gary Roberts

LOS ANGELES KINGS
-F Pavol Demitra
-F Jeremy Roenick

NASHVILLE PREDATORS
-F Paul Kariya

NEW JERSEY DEVILS
-F Alex Mogilny

NY ISLANDERS
-F Miroslav Satan
-D Alexei Zhitnik

OTTAWA SENATORS
-F Dany Heatley

PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
-F Peter Forsberg
-D Derian Hatcher

PHOENIX COYOTES
-G Curtis Joseph

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
-D Sergei Gonchar
-F John Leclair
-F Zigmund Palffy
-G Jocelyn Thibault

ST. LOUIS BLUES
-D Eric Brewer

TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
-G Sean Burke

TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
-F Jason Allison
-F Eric Lindros
-F Jeff O'Neill


If you aren't interested in watching the NHL now, even just for the new rules and player changes, stop smoking crack. Holy Moses!

Swedish NHLers Andreas Lilja, Henrik Tallinder and Kristian Huselius have been banned from playing in the 2006 Turin Olympics because of a rape charge hanging over their heads. The accusation came from a 22-year-old woman who accused them of the deed on February 9 of this year; the trio claims that the sex was consensual. The investigation was dropped on February 11 due to a lack of evidence, police stated, but the case has been reopened by a special prosecutor who does not yet know if charges will be pressed. The players were also dropped from the Swedish national team prior to the World Championships. While I'm not going to make a Guilty or Not Guilty call on their behalf - anyone who comes from a town with junior hockey knows that the relations between players and puck bunnies can get pretty messed-up - I still find it ridiculous that the mere accusation was enough to get these players booted from next year's Olympics, especially considering that police dropped the case two days later because of a lack of evidence. (Admittedly, Sweden is a huge hockey nation, and the possibility exists that the police didn't want to punish three national stars, but while that is grounds for further investigation in itself, it shouldn't be enough to get these guys dropped from a tournament to take place next year.)

In less disturbing news, it looks like a rival league - the International Hockey Association - could be ready to spring to life. Players are apparently deciding on whether to work with Canadian diplomat Maurice Strong and former NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani on the project, which would need something in the neighbourhood of $5 billion US to get off the ground. Several rival leagues have been proposed - the most noticeable to this date being a reincarnated WHA - but the players appear to be taking the IHA at least somewhat seriously. We'll see what happens.


Update: The charges of rape against Huselius, Lilja, and Tallinder have been dropped, but investigations into suspicion of sexual exploitation - a more minor sex crime in Sweden - have been pursued, as of June 10. There was no evidence to support the rape claim whatsoever, and another contributing factor was undoubtedly when the woman, who claimed to have been drugged, was proven to have had no unusual substances in her system at the time of the supposed rape.

The three players' one-year ban by the Swedish Hockey Federation - which became effective on June 1 - has not been dropped.

When religion, politics and hockey collide!

Craig Stanley, a State Assemblyman from New Jersey - and a Baptist deacon - has declared that the Devils' name is wildly inappropriate, and is lobbying to have it changed. The moniker comes from the mythical Jersey Devil, a legend in the 18th century which saw a family's 13th child turn into a bat-like monster, rather than being Satanic; Stanley, however, sees things differently.

Besides fighting the team owner, he'll have to contend with thousands of fans as well as the state governor, but it seems fairly clear that this is not a man picking a battle he thinks he can win. Or a battle he particularly cares about winning, for that matter. What better way to get noticed by other staunch Christians than by throwing yourself into an apparent David vs. Goliath battle for your religion's beliefs? There is absolutely no suggesting that this isn't politically motivated, at least in part, and is just another news item that gave me a laugh today.

The NHL's predicament got a little more dire on Saturday, with ESPN announcing that they would not pick up their $60-million US option to televise games next season (if, indeed, there is a next season). The league can now negotiate with any network, including ESPN, who would probably be willing to negotiate a new deal, but for much less money. The headline of the article, "NHL left with deals with NBC, CBC and TSN," seems fairly cocky ("left" being suggestive of inadequacy amongst the remaining networks), but is still accurate: without a big American contract, Gary Bettman's dream (read: pipe dream) of getting the entire U.S. of A. excited about hockey is headed down the tubes. Pass the Draino!

Holy plumbing allusions, Batman.

Finally, if my previous post didn't make you watch the Memorial Cup semi-final tonight, which saw 11 goals - 3 coming from the phenomenon that is Sidney Crosby - then do yourself a huge favour: WATCH THE FINAL. It comes Sunday at 4 pm ET on Rogers Sportsnet, and will definitely be worth your while, if you are any kind of a hockey fan. Enjoy.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Looks like the NHL and NHLPA have been making some solid progress in CBA talks...they aren't about to sign a new agreement at this juncture, but the fact that they're talking, and making any progress at all, is promising. Bill Daly has expressed a lot of optimism from his side of the table, and that's the best news to come out of those negotiations since "Well, we might be able to save the 2004-05 season if we get a deal done in the next two hours." (Not that that was such spectacular news to begin with.) Stay updated by clicking the NHL CBA News link on the right side of this page. (Or, you know, you could go directly to that site. But then you'd miss what I had to say.)

As for hockey action going on right now, there are better things to do than watch re-runs on the NHL Network...me, I'm saving that for July and August. No, now is the time of year to watch the Memorial Cup! This is fantastic hockey, folks; it's going to make you wonder why you wasted your time with the World Championships...makes them look like a Grass-Growing competition. (Or, since those are seldom televised, a NASCAR race.) There's a lot more to the Rimouski Océanic than Sidney Crosby, and the London Knights are a virtual who's-who of world-class players from the World Junior Championships, with Corey Perry, Dan Fritsche, Danny Syvret, and Robbie Schremp. The Ottawa 67's (sic) aren't playing like underdogs either, making the Océanic earn their 4-3 victory on Tuesday night, fighting for the "W" until the final buzzer. And the defending two-time champion Kelowna Rockets...well, they're eliminated, so that's that. There's just four more days remaining in the tournament, though, so whether you're a casual hockey fan or a die-hard who's desperate for some action, give it a look! You won't be disappointed.

The Top 10 Things to Do While Watching Canada Lose the Gold

10. Marvel at how much Patrick Marleau looks like actor Matthew Fox ("Jack" from Lost)

9. Put in the 2005 World Cup DVD and watch that instead.

8. Put in the 2002 Olympic Hockey Gold Medal DVD and watch that instead.

7. Try using the Force to help Canada score a goal (if it doesn't work, it's only because they're too far away. Honest.)

6. Check on the score of the Jays game.

5. Drink a shot every time Pierre McGuire begins to yell during his commentary (caution: you will get drunk)

4. Drink a shot every time a pass misses its target by more than three feet (caution: you will get even drunker)

3. For more of a mental challenge: given the teams represented by the players in that game, and assuming there was currently an NHL season, which teams would still be in the playoffs? (To raise the difficulty factor, do this after having performed numbers 4 and 5)

2. Watch the highlights from the Russia/Sweden bronze medal game.

1. Think up a "Top 10" list to post on your blog.



Got suggestions for more? Post a comment!

Martin Brodeur certainly showed up to play for the last two games of the IIHF World Championship.

He should have invited some of his friends.

Brodeur bailed out his side in a 4-3 semifinal win over Russia, stopping 39 of 42 shots, with around 30 of those coming in the last two periods. Canada sat on a 4-0 lead, and while the Russians battled hard, the Canadians resumed their defensive strategy of panicked puck-chasing, leaving men open for tap-ins. But as captain Ryan Smyth said before today's final against the Czech Republic, "You can't critique a win."

Maybe they should have. Sloppy all-around play was the story of the game for Canada. They kept their composure until the third period, when stupid penalties started to pile up, but right from the get-go their efforts were marred by piss-poor passing and defence that, to quote Bart Simpson, folded "faster than Superman on laundry day." On the first goal, Vaclav Prospal was left wide open by Canadian defenders, and potted an easy rebound that Brodeur just couldn't corral. The second score was an absolute rocket off the stick of Martin Rucinsky, during a 1-on-2 where he was given way too much respect by the Canuck defence. At the other end, meanwhile, the Czechs sat on their lead right after the first goal, collapsing back to the blueline and implementing an aggressive trap, swarming any Canadian who attempted to carry the puck over the line. Tomas Vokoun was stellar in goal as well for his side, but didn't need to make as many spectacular saves as Marty Brodeur, who kept his team alive.

A scrum with ten seconds remaining - sparked when Vokoun began shoving Smyth, who was chopping away at Jiri Fischer's skates in front of the Czech net - allowed the Canadians to finally vent their frustrations. International referees are quick to call roughing penalties after the whistle, but largely ignore the hooks, holds and wild stickwork that the Czechs in particular are known for; ref Thomas Andersson didn't even call a penalty when Ales Hemsky grabbed the puck and threw it into the stands - it should have been an easy two for Delay of Game, but instead, Andersen just shook his head and smirked when Canada's bench became understandably incensed. (Not according to the IIHF website, however; Andersson did a "masterful job." No surprise that they didn't repremand their own referee, but "masterful"?) At any rate, Canada's emotional physical outburst said loud and clear that they won't forget this painful defeat...though that probably seems like small consolation for all those Canadian players who imagined being able to sink their teeth into gold medals right now. It just isn't the same with silver...although there may be a few dentists north of the 49th who are hoping they'll try it anyway.

Al Strachan's Toronto Sun column of Friday bore the headline "Brodeur saviour again." I find it mildly disappointing that I'm going to write a post about the inaccuracy of the headline and not the article itself (much as I often disagree with Strachan's point of view, he still managed to stay away from saying anything revelatory, as he largely recapped Ziggy Palffy's penalty shot in Canada's 5-4 defeat of the Slovaks).

As I've stated previously, neither Brodeur nor Luongo has been at anywhere near his best. Both are still great goalies, but hockey fans are used to seeing something several steps above "great" from them...such as "sensational," "spectacular," and "scintillating," to name a few adjectives. But to paint Brodeur as a saviour in this game is well beyond misleading. Yes, he made an amazing save on that penalty shot. But he wasn't chalking it up to his usual upper-echelon skills; he knew that was a product of the horseshoes that he's got tucked away somewhere. "I was just hoping," he said. "I threw my arm back and I was able to get the puck with it....I didn't know."

Make no mistake, Brodeur will have to have improved some more in the last two days if Canada is to beat the Russians Saturday. Strachan's point about that big save building confidence for the Canadians is well-taken, but they're going to need a much better all-around performance this time, and bloated kudos from "newspapers" aren't going to help. (Yes, I added quotation marks there. Referring to a publication that needs to include pictures of scantily-clad men and women to ring up decent sales figures as a Newspaper hurts my head a little bit.)

To serve and protect...when he gets around to it

In case you haven't noticed, the spot on Team Canada's roster that was left open for Todd Bertuzzi was filled by Scott Walker of the Nashville Predators a couple weeks ago. This, of course, is due to good ol' GB dragging his feet over making up his mind on that suspension. Personally, although I agree that Bettman should start thinking about making a decision on this, I really couldn't care less about what that decision is.

At this point, Bertuzzi has effectively been suspended from hockey for over a year. His detractors might exclaim, "but there was no NHL for him to miss!" Well, no there wasn't, but that's not his fault. (No more than it was the fault of the other NHLPA members, anyway.) He was prevented from playing hockey in Europe at the same time, so one could argue that he's been missing out.

Let's analogize, shall we?

Billy loves eating at McDonald's. But being a bit of a rebel, he also loves throwing twisted-up ketchup packets around the inside of the restaurant so they splatter on the windows. He's kicked out of McDick's for a 365-day period. Now, about four months after that suspension begins, the restaurant is closed for the next 8 months due to oh, say, a lockout of the employees. Billy has been suspended from walking into all McDonald'seses, not just this one; however, this particular joint is the one he frequented. After his suspension is scheduled to end, should it be elongated another 8 months? Of course not. Ketchup on the windows didn't close it down; the lockout did.

Admittedly, the main problem with this metaphor is that it appears to assume that Bertuzzi's suspension was only to be a year long; yet I am merely suggesting that he shouldn't be punished extra because the NHL suspended operations. (You also may be offended that I light-heartedly likened Steve Moore's injury to the misuse of condiments. If that's the case, lighten up, because I also compared the National Hockey League to a poorly-run fast food joint...although that, I suppose, isn't far off the mark.) This analogy is aimed purely at those who are looking at T-Bert's suspension in the context of the current professional hockey landscape in North America.

As far as what the total length of Todd's exile should be, I have no idea. There are some who believe he should only be allowed back if and when Steve Moore returns to the NHL; of course, at the moment it's up in the air whether Moore will play again - let's face it, he didn't knock anybody's socks off with his skill, and he now has a major roadblock to deal with. Thus, these people basically believe that Bertuzzi should never play again. I call this the "Capital Punishment" school of thought, an eye for an eye. But many people - myself included - believe that the goal of a criminal justice system should be to rehabilitate one to the point where they can function as a productive member of society, and accept responsibility and feel remorse for their crimes. Well, Bertuzzi was remorseful from the get-go, and has certainly accepted responsibility for what he did...at this point, you need to ask yourself if it's really such a good thing for the game to keep one of its premier players out of the rink.

This being said, I also don't think that Bertuzzi's suspension should be over just yet, purely because of the catch-22 inherent in my earlier analogy. Though it would be unfair to punish Todd more severely due to the NHL lockout, his sentence still has to act as a deterrent for other potential thugs on the ice. If it doesn't appear to them that Bertuzzi lost any ice time, then they won't see his suspension as particularly serious, and might not think twice about continuing the trend of senseless violence that has escalated since the appearance of the instigator penalty. A two- or three-year debarment might be in order; assuming that the NHL resumes play next year, perhaps the last year of the sentence (in either case) could be slackened so that the power forward could play in any league but the NHL and its immediate affiliates (the AHL, par exemple).

All told, I will at least agree with everyone else that Gary Bettman needs to make a decision, and soon, just because it's one more story I'm tired of hearing about; the sooner the NHL can put this one behind them, the better. I don't know if that many people are even that concerned about just what GB's decision is, as long as he makes one. I'd hate to be in line behind him at McDonald's when he's deciding what he wants for lunch.

Giving 'er in Innsbruck

This post marks my return from a relatively lengthy - and unintended - hiatus. Having survived incredibly death-defying trials and tribulations (five exams, a skateboarding injury, strep throat, and a haircut), I'm ready to get back to the hockey-talk, and it should be a busy few days.

To start off, I'll deal with the World Hockey Championships, namely to discuss Canada's disappointing performance so far. A tie against Finland today, coupled with a 5-4 loss to the Swedes less than 24 hours beforehand, gives one some cause for concern. Defensive breakdowns have embarassed the squad constantly, and neither Brodeur or Luongo is playing at his usual (read: superhuman) level. This is undoubtedly a result of not having been on the ice much this year, but I don't think anyone is interested in excuses, least of all those two goalies. They might appreciate a little more help from their skaters, though; it hasn't been uncommon to see three Canadian defenders chasing the puck along the boards in their own end, only to watch an opposition player scoop it up and begin to cycle it around a suddenly-spacious offensive zone.

Though the defence has struggled, Canada's scoring has been decent, thanks to the high-octane Nash-Thornton-Gagne line. Thornton and Nash are currently tied for the tournament lead with 10 points, and the latter is no.1 with 8 goals so far. Rick Nash's production is a very bright spot for Hockey Canada, and the line's play takes some of the sting away from the playmaking attempts of the other 15 skaters on the bench, which gets fairly awkward and ugly at times. The defence seems to have trouble advancing the puck to the forwards, and in today's game, Chris Phillips was forced to take it into the zone by himself a number of times. In the offensive zone, at least, missed passes can be made up for by tenacious puck pursuit, which has been displayed best by the Grind Line of Ryan Smyth, Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby.

Don't think that I'm turning into the anti-homer, à la Damien Cox; on the contrary, I - along with any other fan of Canadian hockey - expect a lot out of this team, and one would be hard-pressed to convince me that they're operating at 100% right now. They were out-hustled by a Swedish team that is missing its four biggest guns, including regular captain Mats Sundin, a player who some consider to be the world's best when he's healthy, Peter Forsberg, and Nicklas Lidstrom, who is easily one of the world's five best active defencemen. And of course the Canadians were tired for the match against the Finns, but it was also an effort marred by a lack of disciplined play, though the squad showed some great determination for a few minutes in the third period to overcome their two-goal deficit and tie things up at 3.

For many other hockey-playing nations, this would have been a satisfactory performance thus far, but not for the team who entered this tournament as the clear favourite. It's time for these guys to start playing the way they can play - ferocious forechecking, conscientious defence, simple-yet-elegant passing, blistering quickness, thunderous contact, and shooting reminiscient of a firing squad. It's a tough task to achieve the usual lofty goals when many of these guys came into the tournament cold, compared to many of the European players who have been suited up for teams in their home countries, but these 23 guys are among the world's elite, so if anyone can accomplish that task, it may well be these men that do it.

Go Canada.

Looks like Gary Bettman has Toronto Star writer Damien Cox flummoxed. The journalist can't figure out for the life of him why the league's commissioner is dragging his feet on making a ruling on Todd Bertuzzi's case. Cox writes that besides the fact that Steve Moore's health has not changed, the problem is compounded by "the NHL's curious behaviour in this matter, doubly odd given the strong and immediate manner in which the suspension was handed down three days after the incident."

Is it really that odd? The suspension was a no-brainer. One player sucker-punches another from behind, then lands on him, breaking his neck. The clip is played endlessly, even on networks like CNN that wouldn't care about hockey otherwise. Oh, what to do, what to do? Let the perpetrator go free without punishment, or try and convince the world that hockey isn't really made up of this type of goonery? Suspend him, of course. Make an example of him, and show that you won't tolerate that kind of crap. But then, one year later, you come to the point where it's time to do something about it again. And Gary Bettman might not know all that much about hockey, but he's not a complete idiot - he knows that fewer people are going to complain if the suspension continues than if it is lifted, and procrastinating on holding a hearing is definitely an easy way of doing the former, while seeming like you're progressing towards the latter.

Cox is right about it being a "gut-wrenching decision," which is exactly why Bettman's tactics are obvious. He's a chicken, and the last thing he needs is more bad P.R., being that he's the man who locked out the NHL for the 2004-05 season. There's all kinds of pressure on him to do it before the World Championship rosters are finalized, though; Team Canada GM (and Vancouver assistant GM) Steve Tambellini has left a spot open for Bertuzzi, and if the power forward becomes available he'll be on the team for sure, to avoid a row within the Canucks organization if nothing else. Of course Bettman will leave it for the last minute, though...come on, we're talking about a guy who didn't cancel the hockey season until February 16 (just to torture the more hopeful of us, I suppose).

I'm actually kind of surprised that Cox didn't pick some ridiculous explanation for GB's behaviour, and run with it; he seems to have a penchant for making statements that will make people sit up and take notice, if only to say "what the hell is he talking about?" During this year's World Juniors, he was asked on TSN which player would have the brighter NHL career, Russian Alexander Ovechkin, or Nova Scotian Sidney Crosby. Long story short, Cox initially answered "Ovechkin," then went on a long rant that culminated in "Crosby will be the better player." He didn't believe that Ovechkin would be better, but he just needed to say it anyway to make Canadian hockey fans pay attention to the intermission programming. I understand, though...it must be hard to entertain yourself when usually at this time of year you'd be writing about how much the hometown team sucks.

Choosing the troops

Team Canada has named the squad that will try for the three-peat at the IIHF World Championship in Innsbruck, Austria. Check out the roster, posted on Hockey Canada's website. They haven't named captains yet, but expect Ryan Smyth to get the "C" (he isn't nicknamed "Captain Canada" for nothing, folks). The "A"s could be a little bit tricker, since 19 of the 22 players have played for the nats in the past. Dany Heatley was the tournament MVP last year, but can't match the level of experience some of these guys have in leading a winning team from the dressing room out, most notably Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby. Joe Thornton and Ed Jovanovski will be prime candidates as well, on a team where leadership shouldn't be an issue at all. In short, they're well-prepared for a 2005 gold medal.

Shrinkage

Goalies will likely be using smaller pads when the NHL resumes play.

That was the big news out of the General Manager meetings in Detroit yesterday. The GMs also met with a select group of players, including goaltenders Martin Brodeur and Marty Turco. Brodeur also criticized the idea of bigger nets, saying "I hope they're not really serious about [them]. They are kind of ridiculous when you see them." Defenceman Rob Blake chimed in with the hopes that the net idea would be used as a "last, last resort," and it looks like he'll get that wish. THANK GOD. The new designs looked nothing short of absurd - see one of them here - and seemed way too gimmicky to be taken seriously. If Rodney Dangerfield was still with us, I'm sure he would have been amending his stand-up routine: "I went to a fight the other day, and a hockey game broke out. And what about those wacky new nets? They get no respect, I tell ya!"

The meetings also included a presentation on new, smaller goalie equipment by CCM, which obviously won the approval of players and managers alike. Brodeur's only problem was that the goalie's level of protection might be compromised, but I don't think there's much to worry about there - I think we crossed the line from "protective equipment" to "it's like having another goalie in there with you" a long time ago. There was also the now-obligatory "crackdown on obstruction" talk...you know, the one that'll make referees call all the hooks and holds in the first two-and-a-half periods, just to take the third period - and all of May and June - off.

Hopefully these developments see some more goal production in the league, just to keep Colin Campbell, the mastermind behind the bigger net idea, happy. If he's not, I'm sure he could bring his big nets along with that blue ice over to ESPN 8 ("The Ocho") so they could start airing XHL games, right after Dodgeball coverage every night.

Well, due to the fact that I've been so busy lately, I just haven't been able to get around to writing about all the stuff that's happened in hockey over the last week or so. It has, however, occurred to me that it might be time to be a little more selective about my topics; I never thought that would be a problem in a year without hockey - especially come April - but here we are. Eric Cairns went ballistic in England, chasing a ref around the rink; Steve Yzerman, Vincent Lecavalier, Jose Theodore, and Daniel Briere won't appear at the Worlds; after the outdoor charity game last night in Hamilton, Martin Brodeur said that he might take his family to see a game with replacement players (I'm sure the NHLPA loved that); and the draft has been postponed indefinitely. Most ridiculous of all, NHL senior VP Colin Campbell is pursuing the idea of making the nets bigger; something that has met with a lot of skepticism already, and is sure to meet more.

The notion's most outspoken critic so far, Canadiens goalie Theodore, has been quoted as saying "Excuse my French, but this is bull****." (What a sense of humour...I like this guy more already.) He also called it "crap," "junk," "ridiculous," and "stupid." And I tend to agree. We're not talking about enlarging the net to a lacrosse-sized goal (not that that would be a good idea; this is just for comparison's sake), but moving the posts a couple inches. So until goalies adapt and find their new crease size - which they will - you might see one or two embarassing goals, likely on dump-ins that the 'tenders think are going wide. Another net design calls for a convex net design; the posts would still be six feet apart, but there would be a larger area for shooters to fire at. That just seems like something you'd see in a bad futuristic sci-fi movie, along with center-fielders with rocket boots and a defensive line of eleven Reggie White clones.

Reducing the size of goalie equipment instead? Go ahead; do it. As the Hockey News writes, "Today's goalies have made a mockery of protective equipment, which has ballooned to the piont where even lanky Miikka Kiprusoff appears freakishly large." And they're absolutely right. Remember a few years ago, with Flyer Garth Snow donned a chest protector with outlandishly huge shoulder pads? He had extra protection for his ears. No one stood for that (not for very long, anyway), yet the leg padding has gotten out of control. There's so little room to see mesh at the bottom of the net, you might as well nail a few two-by-fours to the posts along the bottom, and make the net size 6x3 feet. That's where the answer lies: in bringing back some of the skill in goaltending, so that monstrous equipment can't pick up the slack when reflexes fail.

Many goalies don't agree with this, true - Leaf goalie Ed Belfour, after hearing that the league wanted to reduce pads to 10 inches, measured defenseman Bryan Marchment's shin guards for comparison; upon finding that they were 8 inches wide, he threw a fit because 8 inches is close to 10 inches. But if the league's GMs don't want to do away with huge equipment over the principle that it makes mediocre goalies into good ones, and good ones into great ones, then they might prefer this mathematical representation: SMALLER PADS = MORE GOALS. Nobody's going to be talking about bigger nets after that.

And finally, why did I say that a lacrosse-sized net would be a bad idea? Because it's hockey, not lacrosse. Would you triple the size of a basketball net to open up scoring? Would you move the outfield wall in a hundred feet? Would you widen the uprights? Of course not. Sports are supposed to be about athletes excelling inside the parameters they've been given, not about changing the parameters so athletes can excel. Start doing that, and you foster the creation of a society where individuals can't reach their goals without being given a ladder...and with that, we're now out of the scope of this blog, so I'll digress.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Just a couple of updates to the posts I made earlier today:

Peter Forsberg has officially declined the opportunity to represent Sweden at the Worlds. This is no surprise to anybody, as the oft-injured superstar as been suffering from a concussion and a sore wrist that just hasn't been the same since he broke it earlier this season. (Add Tomas Holmstrom to the list of guys who won't be there, too; I forgot to mention his name earlier.)

Wayne Gretzky has weighed in on the steroid issue, saying that he doesn't think it's a big problem...he seems to be downplaying it a little too much, though. "It's like drugs in life, people who do drugs don't hang with people who don't do drugs...People who do steroids don't hang with people who don't do steroids," he said, all but admitting that even if guys on his teams had used performance enhancers, they wouldn't have talked to him about it. "It's something that I never saw, it's something that I don't think is part of our game. But is it totally invisible? Probably not," Greztky continued.

I'd like to think that he's taking this approach in an attempt to put the issue aside while things like the CBA get solved; the other possibility is that he's naïve, and I find that hard to believe about one of the greatest players ever to play the game, as well as one of the sharpest minds ever to preside over it. True, sometimes he does appear to idealize hockey, but I'm not going to psychoanalyze him over this...as long as he is willing to say that if there's a problem, something should be done about it, then I'm happy.

Countdown to the Worlds (because really, what else do you have to do?)

Well, it won't be the tournament of superstars that everyone was hoping for, but Canada at least should have a good chance at their third straight gold medal. Wayne Gretzky has stepped out of the GM's role to be with his mother, who is being treated for lung cancer; Canucks' assistant GM Steve Tambellini has filled the void there. Instead of Pat Quinn, Mark Habscheid will coach the Canadian contingent; he's a capable guy who has international experience, so this is a good time to give him a shot.

The players are a bit more of a mystery; several have refused the call already, because they're not ready to go. Mario Lemieux said he doubts he'll be ready, so take that as a "no." Joe Sakic and Jarome Iginla are reportedly on the fence; the latter has indicated that he will announce his decision today. Roberto Luongo and Robyn Regehr got invitations from Tambellini already, and Todd Bertuzzi might even be considered if his suspension is ended by Gary Bettman (given the Vancouver ties there, Tambellini will be loath to incite trouble by omitting Big Bert if he's able to go). TSN.ca is also reporting that Red Wings' forward Kris Draper has just accepted an invitation to training camp, along with three defencemen: San Jose Shark Scott Hannan, Ottawa Senator Wade Redden, and another Canuck, Ed Jovanovski. Martin Brodeur has been contacted as well, presumably to be the #1 to Luongo's #2, as it was in the World Cup last fall.

Many players who haven't played this season may be passed over, since there is a bevy of talented players who have been hard at work in Europe. Ryan Smyth, however, is one of those who will probably be contacted; they don't call him "Captain Canada" for nothing. He's represented the country at many international tournaments, including the last several World Championships (since his Oilers have such a propensity for getting knocked out of the playoffs early, if they evey make it). As for guys playing overseas:

• Look for Shawn Horcoff to get a phone call; he's been playing for Mora in the Swedish Elite League, and has been spending most of his time at the top of the scoring chart.
• Jose Theodore's name has been bandied about for a possible #3 goalie -he's been playing for Djurgarden in Sweden - but if he wants to sit it out, Andrew Raycroft also starred for Djurgarden, and most recently has been playing for Tappara in Finland; he's another solid young goalie that Hockey Canada should try and develop.
• Mark Recchi has been playing in Finland as well, for Turku; he hasn't been involved internationally since the Nagano Olympics in '98 (he was a sub for the concussed Paul Kariya), but he would be a good fit for the speedy European-style game.
• Wild defenceman Nick Schultz has been playing in Germany this season, and is another great young player that will be brought into the fold sooner or later - preferably sooner.
• This is the part where you'll get chills: besides Kris Draper, the list of Canadians playing in Switzerland this year includes Joe Thornton, Rick Nash, Martin St.Louis, Daniel Briere, and Alex Tanguay - Marty Gelinas has been hanging out in the magical land of Neutrality too, and his playoff performance last year was nothing short of impressive.
• More goosebumps: in Russia, Dany Heatley, Vinny Lecavalier, and Brad Richards all played on the same team, AK Bars Kazan. (Nicknamed the "New York Rangers East," they boasted a whole heap of firepower; fittingly, they also got knocked out of the playoffs early-on.) Granted, Richards is still recovering from surgery, but don't count him out.

The learning curve should be a lot shorter this year, too: with so many players having spent the season on international rinks, they're used to the wide ice surface and the two-line passes by now, and can help their teammates adapt as well. Bottom line, as long as enough of these guys are interested in playing some more hockey before their seasons are over, Team Canada should boast their best lineup this side of the World Cup and Olympic tournaments. Earlier in the year, thoughts were that some of the non-NHLers from the Men's National Team would be included, but that was before so many guys decided to go to Europe. Don't be surprised if Hockey Canada decides those guys can't cut the mustard - sure, they could include a few and still be better than most other entries in the tournament, but they shouldn't be going for a 3-2 victory in the final; fans should be given no less than another juggernaut of a team, and that's what's available at this juncture.

Elsewhere, Sweden, who lost the gold to the Canadians for the last two years in a row, probably won't be back in the final. Mats Sundin, Markus Naslund, and Nicklas Lidstrom have all opted out, citing rust as the problem; they know they won't be in peak condition by the end of April. This isn't like Alexander Mogilny and Nikolai Khabibulin refusing to play for Team Russia because of disagreements with the government officials who control it; Sweden is a country of hockey fanatics who expect the best of their players, much like we do in Canada, and the players know it. These three guys aren't turning Swedish hockey down because they just don't feel like it; don't think for a second that they wouldn't love the opportunity to get revenge for their last two defeats. But they know they won't be ready to play the best they can, so they're unselfishly stepping aside for other guys who have been playing all year, and are ready for more.

Stephane Quintal's 'Roid Rage

Stephane Quintal spoke out yesterday about performance-enhancing drugs in the NHL, saying that up to 40% of its players take some kind of stimulant, and some have actually taken anabolic steroids - a statement that shouldn't have surprised many people. To suggest that no one in hockey is on steroids is nothing short of stupid; the league has a policy of random drug tests in place, but that policy is by no means foolproof, so it is apparently quite easy for some players to slip through the snare.

If you're worried that your favourite all-star is taken performance enhancers, then not to fear: if a player has played in a World Championship, a World Junior Championship, the Olympics, or last year's World Cup, then he's been tested for steroids, and they test extremely thoroughly, as everyone knows. Some of those drugs can remain in the body for some time, and although there are steps that users can take to flush the remnants out of their systems, it's unlikely that any honourable (and intelligent) player who knew he would get the chance to represent his country would take the risk...of course, we're all aware how uncommon common sense can be.

Most of the players who are likely using performance-enhancers are the lower-end guys who have less to lose: enforcers, fourth-liners, number-seven defencemen. Career minor-leaguer and tough guy Dennis Bonvie says that he's positive he has fought players who were taking some kind of growth-enhancement substance, which is no surprise; this calibre of player makes his money by getting in as many big-league fights as he can before he gets sent back down to the farm, so anything to give that guy an edge will be considered, if his morals allow it.

With regards to the question of stimulants, this concerns things like Sudafed and caffeine. The World Anti-Doping Agency has taken these both off the banned substance list, saying there's no proof that any amount of Sudafed enhances performance (Silken Laumann would have loved to hear that about ten years ago, I'm sure). With a few exceptions (such as marijuana), the NHL uses WADA's list of banned substances; it's encouraging that they're staying on the same page as the world's major governing bodies with regards to this kind of issue. Hopefully the NHL and NHLPA are proactive enough to include an even tougher drug policy in the new CBA, with regular testing for all players, as well as random tests throughout the year, even in the summer months...because the last thing hockey needs is to go through what baseball is right now, congressionally-issued subpoenas and all.

Chris Cuthbert and the CBC aren't done quite yet.

Cuthbert is preparing to sue the network over an alleged breach of contract when he was fired; one of the sticking points is reportedly a guarantee that he would take the torch from Bob Cole as Hockey Night in Canada's number one play-by-play announcer, upon the latter's retirement (which is arguably overdue). "What a preposterous way of doing business," Cuthbert said about the whole fiasco.

One thing is for sure: he won't be back on HNIC. "There's going to be too many other opportunities to work someplace where people treat you like they appreciate you," said Cuthbert. Without a doubt this time, it looks as though CBC's loss will be someone else's gain.

In yet another news item that seems a little bit too strange to be true, the AHL's Rochester Americans - the Buffalo Sabres' farm team - will be playing on some differently-coloured ice this weekend at the HSBC Arena. Blue ice, to be exact. "Electric Powder Blue" ice, to be even more exact; the word's still out on whether Crayola has copyrighted that phrase yet. The lines formerly known as blue - and perhaps headed for reference as unpronounceable symbols, or "The Lines" (Come on...Prince? Anybody?) - will now be fluorescent orange, and the red line will be dark blue.

It's just a publicity stunt, to be sure; I can't imagine that any pro league would seriously consider adopting this format on a permanent basis. You might have all kinds of people saying "Gee, it sure looks neat," but I'm sure they said that for the first few seconds of looking at Nashville's third jersey - immediately preceding the line, "Good Lord, that's ugly." Rochester goalie Ryan Miller had trouble seeing the puck, but selflessly said that he would support the switch if it helped sell hockey back to its increasingly disenchanted fans. Call me crazy, but I don't think that watching a goaltender searching for the puck is the kind of entertainment fans are looking for when they buy tickets to a hockey game. And honestly, what would be easier to see than a black puck against white ice? A lot of fans south of the border have trouble picking up the biscuit in the first place (remember that "FoxTrax" glowing puck experiment?), so by reducing the severity of that contrast, no one is being done any favours.

Plus, you get those kids who want to draw pictures of hockey players in art class...they're going to be wearing those Electric Powder Blue crayons right down to nubs. I'm going to go invest in any and all crayon manufacturers.


Check the story out at TSN.ca, or at the Toronto Star's site.

If the WHA was a person, he'd have had ample opportunities by this point to quip, "The reports of my resurrection are greatly exaggerated," Mark Twain-style. Nevertheless, the rumours have resurfaced. Investors Ricky Smith and Mark McKelvie are optimistic that a minimum of 10 teams could be scrambled by the time they started a season, which probably wouldn't be until 2006. The two have stated that starting this October would be their goal, but that seems extremely unrealistic, given that more investors must be found to begin their own clubs, players must be scouted, the identities of the teams themselves - and not to mention the league - must be established, and more...all in a matter of months.

They are also outlining plans for an invitational tournament held in the late spring of this year, which will see games played in Vancouver and Hamilton; the ever-vocal Jeremy Roenick has already started recruiting players to put together his own team, and it will be interesting to see if any other NHLers start phoning up their buddies. The money involved is not to be forgotten - each player will receive $20 000 for the tournament, which probably looks pretty good to a lot of those guys right now.

Am I going soft? Have I forgotten that the players' greed is a major part of what is facilitating the continuation of the lockout? Do my English professors tell me that asking rhetorical questions in essays is a compelling writing tactic? Maybe, No, and You Betcha. While I would love to see some NHL-calibre hockey right now, I always find it quite easy to grimace at pictures of Trevor Linden, who I admire as a player, but despise as the union president. If I could hop a bus to the Corel Centre and see the likes of Mats Sundin, Tie Domi, Vincent Lecavalier and - oh, please - Doug Gilmour, as long as I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg, I'd be happy. I don't care if they're playing for the Stanley Cup or the "If Today Was A Fish, I'd Throw It Back" Mug, but some top-quality hockey would be spectacular.

I suppose that at this point, I'm becoming numb to this whole lockout; it could be a phase, or it could be that I'm just too tired of this seemingly permanent impasse. I'm sure that people who accidentally stumble into meetings between the union and the league have to struggle with a healthy dose of confusion and mistaken identity at first: "Look! Over at the debating table! Is it Israel and Palestine? Is it India and Pakistan? No! It's the NHL and the NHLPA!" Would I pay to watch replacement players? No, unless the price was right - say, the same as a minor-league game. I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld who commented on the fact that people only cheer for the laundry and not the players, and I would have a hard time arguing that, were I to attend a game with replacements. There's something to be said for team loyalty, but if your team is essentially dismantled and repopulated by unrecognizables and nobodies, it's not "your team" anymore, anyway...but that's an issue for a whole other post.

Would you watch the WHA? Or is the NHL the way to go for you? Can you cheer for your favourite player in a new North American league, or are you going to hate him unless he plays for an NHL team? Don't forget that the last time the WHA saw some actual business before folding, it gave the NHL three more Canadian clubs, along with a certain "Great One"...so can it be seen as a potential usurper? Or is this the natural evolution of hockey on this continent?

Picking at Scabs

I'm sure that all are aware by now that the deeper into 2005 the NHL goes without a new CBA, the taller the prospect looms of using replacement players. It's a notion that fits absolutely no one's ideals, but it's been thrown out there anyway, and the league has the gall to publicly consider it a possible solution, or at least the means to achieving one. I call this "gall" because they must know that fans are at best going to be split on whether to attend games played by minor-leaguers and lower-end players, so it isn't going to solve any monetary difficulties. This is especially true in places like Raleigh, where the Hurricanes have been losing less money by not opening the RBC Center for games at all, than if the season had been taking place right now. In addition, I can't even fathom the animosity that will develop between the players who cross the picket line and the locked-out NHLers - not to mention the sense of ultimate betrayal the NHLPA will feel towards the league.

Detroit goalie Manny Legace has said that he won't blame minor-leaguers who cross the picket line, and that's big of him to say. He acknowledged that there will be some resentment, but he knows that for a lot of those guys, it will be as close as they ever get to dreams of playing in the NHL, not to mention that a lot of them could probably use the money. He kept himself free and clear of 'PA reprimands, however, by adding that regular NHLers would be morally remiss in crossing the line: "We're all supposed to stick together as one big family." Well done, Manny.

Right back to the darker side of replacements, if that's the way the 2005-06 season will be played, then the Stanley Cup is going to be awarded to a bunch of guys who probably aren't even playing AHL-calibre hockey. Does this bother anyone else? I hope so. The league wouldn't free up the Cup this year to give to a national champion, or a North American champion, or what have you...the NHL could have been at the fore of organizing a massive - and potentially massively successful - tournament that pitted teams from any league against each other in order to find a continental Grand Champion. Hell, the NHL, as organizers, could have even invited teams from European elite leagues and made it a worldwide event, giving themselves invaluable exposure as the tournament organizers and advertising themselves to all four corners of the world. But no...there'll be no award ceremony this year, and without a new CBA, next year's award ceremony will be a complete and utter joke.

This is the state of our game. Depressed yet?

$3.5 billion, I've got $3.5 billion! Do I hear $4.9?

...I certainly hope not. But it looks like something that was little more than an interesting news story a couple days ago is about to get even more interesting...

Tuesday, a Wall Street consortium made an offer to the NHL's Board of Governors to take the league and all its teams off their hands, at a price tag to the tune of $3.5 billion. While the league took the time to hear the half-hour presentation put together by the corporations' representatives, the whole thing was largely regarded as far-fetched. On average, teams would have received just over $110 million, which might sound good to some - the Mighty Ducks sold for $75 million last week - but richer teams like those in Toronto and Boston won't be eager to sell any time soon.

The consortium currently consists of Bain Capital Partners and Game Plan International, and spokespeople indicated that they plan to bring a large Canadian buyer into the mix, which should assuage Canadian fans' fears that the game is becoming even more Americanized. The companies also stated that under their plan, Gary Bettman would remain in his current capacity - which means that either they like what he's doing, or they don't want to scare anyone off just yet. According to Forbes, the NHL's teams are worth a combined $4.9 billion at this point in time, so Wall Street has a ways to go before it can truly be taken seriously. That figure, however, reflects a study done in November, before the season was cancelled, so most teams - especially those in the United States that already have waning fan bases - will see a drop in their worth.

The deal is bad news for players perhaps most of all; the consortium's offer came with a warning that the longer the lockout continued, the worse off they will be. Although this is something the NHLPA has heard before, they are certainly intimidated by the prospect of a single entity holding central ownership over all 30 clubs - that ownership will strive for parity across the league, which means that the days of teams battling over their services and throwing huge dollar signs at them would be a thing of the past. If the lockout drags on too long, it bring this possibility closer to a reality, since the values of franchises will continue to decline, and many more owners will be interested in unloading. As I previously mentioned, teams with more wealth and richer traditions - the Leafs and the Bruins, for example - are uninterested in selling at this point, according to president/CEO of MLSE Richard Peddie, and Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs. But if these teams were somehow allowed to participate in the buyout from a purchasing perspective - not necessarily investing in other teams, but retaining their own, and dealing with Game Plan and Bain Capital as equal partners - they might be much more amenable to the deal.

These potential owners might be looking to trim the fat, meaning that teams like the Hurricanes would disappear, incrementally raising the NHL's talent level. This is just one of the probable changes they would be looking to make, both from a marketing standpoint and from changes in gameplay. Overall, though, I'm not a big fan of the idea...while I can't deny that a competitive team generates more revenue than a cellar-dweller, I also think that if these teams were in the right markets, they would sell tickets anyway. The Leafs' rough years from 1995-1997 didn't see a heavy decline in net worth, and the New York Rangers certainly still manage to sell tickets (and don't tell me that it's to see superstars; I'm not going to pay $70 to watch Jaromir Jagr pretend to care). The Boston Bruins have had trouble selling tickets for a few years now, but their position in the standings hasn't had much of an effect on that.

In general, I think that the idea of having 30 equally-talented teams overrated. The number of star players on a team doesn't necessarily mean that they'll go farther in the playoffs; just look at last year's Cup Final. Having a few powerhouses and a few punching bags in the league just seems like the natural order of things, and the teams at the top and the bottom don't stay the same forever; that's why the top draft pick goes to the worst team, after all. If this buyout idea continues for a little while longer, however, I wouldn't mind, and I doubt the owners would, either. Anything that puts more pressure on the NHLPA to strike a deal is fine by me.

Lots of stuff to write about right now, and most of it stems from the NHL and NHLPA meetings that took place this afternoon. Unfortunately, there's been nothing to report along the lines of getting a deal done; if anything, an agreement is further away now than it was yesterday. Each group claims that they've got a newfound solidarity, and that they should take a step back from the bargaining table took take a better look at the big picture (read: "our demands are back to what they originally were, so there's no point in talking").

There's also been plenty of feather-ruffling, along with the usual BS. Bobby Clarke reamed out Bob Goodenow just a couple days ago, saying that BG has no respect for the game in Canada, if he has respect for the game at all. Now, it's great that Clarke's going to stick up for the teams north of the border - "...personally, I was sick when Quebec and Winnipeg moved," he said - and I'm certainly not one to stick up for Goodenow. But oh, Bobby. Want to see someone with a profound lack of concern for Canadian teams? Check out the guy who's running things on your end. Gary Bettman had no problem with helping bail Pittsburgh and Buffalo out of trouble recently, but the Jets and the Nordiques both flew south (in both the figurative and literal senses) faster than you can say "southern expansion." He undoubtedly saw two opportunities to take established and respected franchises and move them to untapped markets - like hockey-hungry Arizona (because really, who watches hockey in Manitoba) - and that's just what he did.

This being said, Clarke commented further on Goodenow, saying, "He's done nothing but take from the game...and now he's fighting for power. He doesn't want to lose power, he doesn't want to lose his control over the players. And he doesn't want to lose as much of the control he's had over the game over the last 10-12 years. But when he had that power, he ruined it." Well, that's absolutely true. Though after the 'PA meeting, BG stated that "I don't think (union) solidarity was ever gone," there were clearly several points where it looked like player support for their Executive Director was waning precipitously, beginning way back in the fall when Canadien fourth-liner Pierre Dagenais said that he'd accept a salary cap if it got him back on the ice. Goodenow has surely had a few sleepless nights since this whole mess started, and he hasn't done himself any favours by refusing to play ball with the league; he apparently thinks his bargaining position is better than it is, although his job is probably the least safe out of anybody involved in the CBA process, especially when the players start getting disgruntled again.

Moving right along in the "I Can't Believe You Just Said That" department, Blues defenceman Chris Pronger was approached by reporters after the meeting, and this is what he had to say: "The so-called splinter faction in the union that was supposedly going a different direction has been drummed up by a lot of media members and people hoping a deal gets done....Coming out of the meeting I can unequivocally say everyone is on board and understands the issues better." What? "The so-called splinter faction"??? Who called it that? I even ran a Google search for any pages containing that phrase along with "NHLPA"...nada. But way to make those players who broke ranks sound sinister and conniving! There's a headline for you: "Chris Pronger, Drama Queen." And shame on those "people hoping a deal gets done" who fostered the whole notion of evil anti-union rebels in the first place...I guess they were way out to lunch with that little hope, eh Chris?

...But I digress. All I have left to say right now is that the two people you can trust to know what they're talking about and maintain an objective viewpoint in all this mess are Mario Lemieux and Wayne Gretzky. They're well-respected as two of the most intelligent hockey minds on the planet, and Lemieux is involved with the NHL as both a player and an owner, and while Gretzky doesn't serve simultaneously in those capacities, he still knows how to get things done down on the ice and up in the boardroom. Both the league and the Players' Association have realized this by now, too: to bring some sanity to these proceedings, it's essential that those two be present at as many bargaining sessions as possible. Maybe they can help find a solution to this whole debacle before it gets much worse.

Just a reminder about some other blogs:

Looking for some insight about recent political events? Check out Justin's Flash Point Canada.

If music is more your thing, and you're looking for some succinct reviews, head to Dane's page, "You Could Sing, I Swear."

The profile links don't look like much right now, as Blogger is apparently still trying to work out the kinks. But they'll be up-and-running someday soon, I'm sure. Enjoy!


...also, as long as I'm plugging others' opinion pieces, check out James Duthie and Jay Onrait's rants at TSN.ca...these guys just slay me.

Man, the UHL just can't buy a break.

Those three letters were in the news again last week when Chad Wagner of the Danbury Trashers was banned for life, after attacking Adirondack Frostbite coach Marc Potvin. Wagner was being escorted to the penalty box at the time, when he shrugged off the referees and lunged over the bench at the opposing coach. Three other players, as well as the Danbury coach, have been suspended. Earlier in the year, the team's owner was also charged by police after punching a linesman after a game.

Before this season, I'd never even heard of the United Hockey League, and I'm sure that many other hockey fans were in the same boat. They didn't start making major headlines until NHLers began migrating in that direction, and now you hear something negative about that league at least once a week, it seems. The UHL's top brass must be wondering at this point whether a few big names were even worth the bother.

All this negative press is making the organization into something of an anathema in hockey circles. The game itself has taken such a beating in the North American market over the past year, starting with the whole Bertuzzi incident and culminating with the lockout; the last thing needed right now is a league that generates nothing but bad publicity, where people only pay attention long enough to cluck their tongues and shake their heads. Although not such a big deal here in Canada, it's terrible for the NHL's business in the United States, where attempts to sell hockey in non-traditional markets are going less-than-swimmingly. American interest is supposed to skyrocket in a few years when the first generation of southern expansion-inspired players arrives at the Entry Draft, but how many of those players are we going to see when American parents forbid their children to play a sport that is seen as vicious and dangerous?

Chris Cuthbert: the Lockout's latest casualty

As if things weren't hard enough without hockey, CBC Sports commentator and Hockey Night in Canada play-by-play man Chris Cuthbert has been fired by the CBC. The station's executive director for sports programming, Nancy Lee, has been quoted as saying "It's a regrettable decision...Chris has an extremely good reputation and he's a consummate professional. But it's important to remember that 30 people have been affected by hockey." Cuthbert has apparently been let go because there wasn't enough work for him to do, but I'm sure that a rival network will happily take him in. Read CBC's explanation of the situation here.

Chris Cuthbert appeared to be Bob Cole's successor, and indeed should probably have taken over the #1 play-by-play job on HNIC some years ago, as Cole seems to be getting rustier with age. Cuthbert gave the game an excited, enthusiastic voice that I would have loved to hear during Leafs broadcasts (the network's main event every Saturday night during hockey seasons), but he was often paired with Greg Millen or Glenn Healy, whose irritatingly rambling and bumbling colour commentary really brought down the quality of the show. (That being said, if TSN picks up Cuthbert, I hope they don't stick him with Pierre McGuire.) CBC's judgement has been getting progressively poorer over recent years; first they almost didn't renew the contracts of HNIC's lifeblood in the persons of Ron MacLean and Don Cherry, and now this. Make no mistake, any other sports network would be lucky to have him. If TSN decided to offer him a contract for the 2005-06 NHL season, they would have a dynamite pair of play-by-play men in Cuthbert and Gord Miller, which would give Hockey Night in Canada a serious run for its money as the nation's favourite hockey broadcast. At any rate, Chris Cuthbert will surely land on his feet. Best of luck to him.

As a welcome change of pace, there has been a rash of stupidity in hockey that has surfaced in the news over the last few days, and it didn't have anything to do with the lockout. To answer Justin's prayers, I'll tackle Markus Naslund's comments on Steve Moore's lawsuit first.

Long story short, Naslund has been ripping into Moore because he's launching a lawsuit in the first place. "This isn't about the hit," Naslund said about the suit. Of course it is, Markus. If there was NHL hockey to be played right now, Steve Moore wouldn't be able to participate in it because he was hit with a vicious sucker-punch, and at some time during the scrum that followed - likely when Todd Bertuzzi fell on top of him - his neck was broken. "Hockey players take hits and give hits," Naslund continued. Well, sure they do. I bet that's the first thing that Donald Brashear thought of when amateur lumberjack Marty McSorley took a swing at his head during a Canucks/Bruins game a few years ago: "Gee, that sure did hurt, and it was cheap (I should know); but getting my head taken off in a particularly brutal manner is just part of the game." Moore has lost his ability to partake in his livelihood - at least for the moment - and both Canadian and American law give him the right to seek financial restitution, whether or not his teammates indicate to Mr. Naslund that Moore "doesn't have a lot of support in hockey." This just reminds me of when Naslund whined that the seven-second delay on Coach's Corner should have been longer, because Don Cherry's comments offended him so deeply (when fellow Swede Daniel Alfredsson was asked his opinion about Grapes, he responded that he really didn't care, and that he found Cherry's quotes humourous and entertaining, if memory serves).

Meanwhile, the coach of the UHL's Motor City Mechanics has been suspended for putting a $200 bounty on the head of Flint General Kevin Kerr. Kerr expressed his displeasure with NHL "hypocrites" who came to play in the United Hockey League just a day before the incident allegedly took place, and it isn't a long leap in logic to speculate that Mechanics coach Steve Shannon wanted to get back at Kerr for badmouthing the team's new acquisitions. Shannon reportedly offered the money to his players in the hopes that one of them would take Kerr out. I find this absolutely disgusting, not just as a hockey fan or a sports fan, but as a human being. It's not the first time a coach has told his players to go headhunting, and it certainly won't be the last, but that doesn't make it any less despicable of a manoeuvre. At any rate, Shannon has been suspended for the remainder of the regular season as well as the playoffs, with assistant coach John Blum being suspended for the next 10 games. It's good to see that the league's brass are taking a no-nonsense approach, but they have to be disappointed that after the Mechanics first announced the signings of Chris Chelios and Derian Hatcher, sending a ripple of interest throughout the North American hockey community, Motor City's team has lately become a magnet for bad press (also see Feb.12 post, "Hi, I'm Sean Avery, and I can't shut my yap"). On top of all this, the team currently occupies last place in the league. I'll bet that's a fun dressing room to sit in!

Now where are we?

"Where are you?
And where am I?
We've been slipping slowly south..."--Saves The Day

Indeed.

The on-again, off-again talks between the league and the union are off again. Saturday's talks produced, in a word, nothing. At this juncture, even if they scheduled more talks for early next week, they would not be intended to save this season; stick a fork in 2004-05, folks.

The lines of communication, however, remain relatively open. There has been a lot of progress made in the last few weeks; I think both parties realize that, and hopefully don't want it to go for naught. If they can keep talking before they find themselves galvanized again, there's a chance that we'll see a full sked next season.

There is no concrete deadline for an agreement now, but you'll know it has passed when GB and BG start tossing around the rhetoric-laden barbs again. Language is a fragile thing - William Shakespeare knew it, Emily Dickinson knew it, and these guys know it. They can drone on for fifteen, twenty minutes, and by the time they're done you know they've been talking the whole time, but all you heard was "the other guy is a jerk." Whereas the two aforementioned authors managed to say a lot with a little, Gary and Bob have turned it around completely; they must have teams working on speechwriting, with other teams memorizing thesauri, and are basically just saying "write me a ten-page essay that says nothing."

Personally, as such an employee I think I'd find it hard not to write out the word "blah" as many times as it took to fill those ten pages. In as small a font as I could, so they thought I had actually worked harder. I'd get fired or get a raise, but you have to figure that working for those guys it's a wash either way, because no amount of money would be enough to put up with this kind of ridiculousness. (But I'd be willing to find out what my price was if they offered it to me, I suppose.)

Regardless, despite all their bravado and posturing, it won't be one of these two who Saves The Day <ahem>...Bill Daly and Ted Saskin are the ones whose elbow grease is covering everything that's been done to this point. Also count on outside sources like Wayne Gretzky and former NHLPA head Mike Gartner to do everything they can to help.


And just a brief beef: NBA Commissioner David Stern ripped into the NHLPA on Friday, which certainly didn't help anything. While the league and union are getting ready to conduct last-ditch talks, Stern waltzes in at the second-most inopportune time to tell the players and their executive director that they're all incompetent. Thank you, sir! Rather than tick them off and get them to stand firmer, I'm sure that comment had the desired effect of making all NHLers stare sheepishly at their toes, and Bob Goodenow hang his head and say "Gee whiz...I guess I'm just a big weiner." Gary Bettman used to work for the NBA as a deputy, and he doubtlessly has some ties to Stern, so this just looked like Daddy scolding little Bobby for being such a bully to little Gary...this is just conjecture, but I'm guessing that nobody in the NHLPA appreciated the scolding at all. Please, Mr. Stern, unless you've got something helpful to say, don't say anything at all. Tend to your own CBA, because I've gotta tell you, nobody likes it when those things expire.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the tickers at the bottom of the screen on most sports stations....the ones that show you a few words at a time instead of scrolling them across, and drive you insane waiting for the next part of the sentence? Well, I'm out at the bar last night, and one of said stations are showing on the big-screen TV. So I look up and see:

The Hockey News reports that...

Which keeps me paying attention. Then, I start to get excited when it says:

...the NHL and NHLPA have agreed to a deal...

At this point I've thrown up my arms and am staring triumphantly at the television.

...that would see hockey played in the 2004-05 season.

By now, my friends - and several other people who think I'm either drunk or insane - are looking at the TV as well, to try and figure out what I'm so ecstatic about. Then up pops:

The NHLPA denies the report.

I know, I know; I'm a sucker for repeatedly getting my hopes up. But the fact remains that at this moment, the NHL and NHLPA are at a meeting in New York City to try and hammer out a deal. That's worth raising my hopes just a little bit, I think, and I've crossed every appendage I can in a bid for a little more luck. You should too!


Also, on the "Talk About Timing!" front, it looks like that quote from The Tragically Hip (see Feb.16 post) was a lot more topical than I intended. Frontman Gord Downie is auditioning to play goalie Ken Dryden in a television miniseries about the 1972 Summit Series, where Dryden of course played for Team Canada, sharing the goaltending duties with fellow future Hall-of-Famer Tony Esposito. Tryouts are being conducted in Fredericton, New Brunswick, and whether Downie makes the cut or not, looks like it should be an interesting production.

"How to Torment Yourself by Not Letting It Go," a comprehensive guide.

Apparently the fat lady hasn't hit that high C yet, because there are reports that the NHL season might not be kaput after all. TSN is reporting that several of hockey's most notable men are doing their best to uncancel the season, a problem that NHL VP Bill Daly says he'd "love to have". The list thus far includes Steve Yzerman, Mario Lemieux (relatively uninvolved so far, but I'm sure wild horses couldn't keep him away), and - ta-dah! - Wayne Gretzky...however, keep in mind that this story was taken in turn from The Hockey News, and neither Lemieux or Gretzky have said that they are involved in these kinds of talks. (Just in case you were getting your hopes up...I know I was.)

I've also heard rumblings that a small group of players, including Brendan Shanahan, is calling for Bob Goodenow to get the axe; there's no way he keeps his job after this, if the players know what's good for them. Last time the players lost this much faith in the Executive Director of the players' union, I think his name was Alan Eagleson...